Chapter 3
The smell of burnt cheese encircled Lee’s head. Sitting back in his chair, he watched his oldest stepson shamelessly flirt with a young girl. They seemed deep in conversation over which song to play on the rundown jukebox. Looking at the two remaining pieces of the "specialty" pizza the boys had ordered, he was thankful for the roll of Tums that awaited him in the glove box of the car. He had informed his wife, only a few months before, that his stomach could take on anything that the two boys could dish his way. Unfortunately, after a few nights of pizza, junk food, and soda, he quickly found out that he wasn’t the young buck he had once been. Therefore, he had purchased the economy size package of Tums, and placed several rolls in his glove box, and a few in the glove box of Amanda’s Grand Wagoneer, just for occasions like tonight.
Jamie watched the man, who had become a permanent fixture in his mother’s, life pick up one of the two remaining slices.
Lee shifted his eyes from the pizza to Jamie. "So what movie do you guys want to go see?"
Jamie’s mouth was filled to capacity with the gooey food, so he shrugged his shoulders in answer.
Lee leaned forward, placing his elbows on the red checkered tablecloth to lock eyes with his stepson. "You don’t really want to go see a movie, do you, Jamie?"
After swallowing his last bite, Jamie met Lee’s pondering expression with his own intense stare. "Doesn’t really matter, does it?" he mumbled, pretty sure that his opinion really didn’t count with to his mother’s boyfriend. Even if Lee seemed to genuinely want to spend time with them, Jamie couldn’t help but feel that if he got too close, Lee might up and disappear one night, never giving him or his brother a second thought.
Laying the pizza back on the platter, then leaning back against the plastic seat of the booth, Lee entwined his fingers behind his head. "Yes, Jamie. It does matter," he replied with sincere conviction. "Tell me what you would like to do."
Jamie studied Lee for a moment, analyzing his options, before he spoke. Despite an inner voice telling him that Lee didn’t really mean what he said, Jamie could see the sincerity in Lee’s eyes. "Well…I really need to go to the library and do some research on my science project for next week. You and Phillip could drop me off, and then pick me up when your movie’s over."
Glancing over at Phillip, who now had his arm around the shoulders of the smiling brunette, Lee looked back to Jamie. "I guess we could, but I’d like to do something with both of you."
Jamie’s attention now focused back on the last dwindling piece of pizza. "I know you want to be a part of both of our lives, Lee. Grandma said so. She also said that you want us to feel comfortable around you."
Lee straightened in his seat at the comment, once again, placing his arms on the table before him. "I really do, Jamie," he said with sincerity and conviction. He meant every word, and wanted, so badly, to make Jamie realize that.
Jamie gave Lee a weary glance, then mischievously smiled before popping the last of the crust into his mouth, followed by a big swig of Coke. After a few moments of intense silence, Jamie leaned against the table, a mirror image of Lee’s position. "I know that, Lee. I know that you love my mom, and that you’re really trying with Phillip and me," he paused and looked at the drink in his hand, contemplating whether to finish his thought, or take another sip. Looking back at Lee, he realized that Lee wasn’t going to just let this conversation drop. Shrugging his shoulders, he said, truthfully, "but you don’t have to worry about me so much. I’m able to take care of myself, you know."
Lee blinked, not once, but twice before locking eyes with his stepson. If Lee had been looking only at the eyes and not the entire body of the boy, he would have sworn that his wife was sitting before him. The same determination and strength of will was set into the boy’s features. "What if I want to worry about you? Did you ever think that you’re a very important part of my life now," Lee challenged his stepson to try and look at things in a different light.
Lee was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the turn this conversation had taken. It had taken him a long time to break down his emotional walls and be able to share those emotions with Amanda. Sharing his feelings with this young boy was an entirely different arena, and it wasn’t something with which Lee was entirely comfortable. However, he had to get through to Jamie somehow. Closing his eyes briefly, he ran a hand through his hair and whispered, "Did you know that I’ve grown to love you…all of you?"
Jamie placed his cola down in front of him and leaned over it with the straw in his mouth, taking small sips as he mulled over Lee’s declaration.
Feeling uneasy about the silence emanating from his youngest stepson, Lee shifted in his seat and leaned against the wall that adjoined the booth, hoping that he hadn’t said the wrong thing. Moving his gaze from Jamie, he distracted himself by keeping tabs on what Phillip was up to.
Jamie watched Lee curiously. The man sitting across from him put up a good front, coming across as a very confident and strong man, but Jamie had noticed that Lee always seemed to back off a little when feelings came to play in their conversations. "So you really love Phillip and me?"
Unable to find his voice, Lee nodded as he watched Phillip follow the slim girl back to her table and friends. Jamie looked over his shoulder at his older brother, then back to Lee. "Phillip said that you did. He said he overheard you telling Mom, one night, how much you worried and cared about us. I guess I’ve always known that you did, but …" He let the last few words trail off, not entirely sure he was ready to confess his fears to his mother’s boyfriend. He worried that Lee might run away, just when they were beginning to depend on him as a constant in their lives.
Lee looked back to Jamie with a self-conscious smile upon his lips. "Believe me, Jamie. I think I understand where you’re coming from. I don’t expect you to take me in without some reservations. I’ve got to earn your trust, just like you’ve got to earn mine."
Jamie gave Lee a half smile, before picking up the last slice of pizza. "You really want to earn our trust?" He watched as Lee nodded. "Somehow, that makes me feel a little better. I guess it’s nice to know that you…well that you might really consider our feelings." Jamie saw the truth and love that shone in Lee’s eyes. It wasn’t as strong as the love he saw when he looked in his mom’s eyes, but it proved that the man across from him really did care about them.
Looking down at the pizza in his hand, he whispered, "I know I haven’t always shown it, but I have grown to like you. And not just for Mom’s sake, but…well, it’s just hard for me to think about having another man around, someone who might decide to up and leave when he realizes that his career is more important than his family." Jamie quickly bit into the pizza and lowered his eyes to the table. He felt as if a small weight had been lifted from him, and he was kind of glad that he had ignored his inner voice and shared his fears with Lee.
Lee was about to delve a little deeper into Jamie’s point-of-view, while the subject was open, but was interrupted as Phillip jumped into the booth Lee was sitting in.
"Hey, Lee. I’ve got a BIG favor to ask you," Phillip exclaimed excitedly.
Lee narrowed his eyes as he readjusted himself in the seat from the sudden jolt. "You do, do you?"
Phillip’s smile couldn’t have been wider as he looked over to the young girl he had been flirting with, jabbing Lee in the side with his elbow. "Yeah, Lori over there has asked me to join her and her friends to go see the movie ‘Big’ tonight. Can I go with them?"
Lee’s eyes again narrowed as he studied the group. "I don’t think that your mother would approve, Phillip, and besides, are you really going to just dump Jamie and me?"
Jamie rolled his eyes in disgust at Phillip’s adolescent hormonal imbalance. "Yeah, Phillip. What about Angie?"
Lee picked up on the sudden nervousness that Phillip exhibited. "Jamie’s right, Phillip. What about your other girl?"
Phillip averted his eyes to the pizza pan, and began to snatch the fallen toppings and put them in his mouth. "I’m just going to see a movie, guys. It’s not a date or anything. What harm could it do?"
A shiver ran through Lee’s body at Phillip’s words. They were words that he could remember hearing himself say only a few years ago. "Trust me, Phillip. Don’t play games with a girl’s feelings; it only causes trouble…BIG trouble."
Jamie snickered at the exchange between the two males in front of him. "Oh, let him go, Lee. It’s like Mom says about Dad, ‘he’ll learn from his mistakes.’"
Phillip narrowed his eyes and gave his brother a trademark "get off my back" look.
Jamie ignored him, and continued to laugh as he looked over at the adults that now stood at the young girl’s table. "Mr. and Mrs. Keen are with them, Lee," Jamie commented. "Mom knows them, and I don’t think she would mind. You could even call and ask her."
Lee looked curiously at Jamie. Had the boy really said the couple’s last name was Keen? His thoughts were cut off by the sound of his oldest stepson’s voice.
Giving Lee his most innocent look, Phillip pleaded whole-heartedly, "Please, Lee."
Lee’s forehead wrinkled in concentration. ‘So much for a night out with both boys.’ His thoughts quickly turned to Amanda, and the conversation she was having with her mother. He didn’t want to interrupt them for all the gold in the world. "What if I talk to the Keens, and maybe we could take you to the theater and then pick you up there? I think Jamie wants to do some research anyway."
Jamie’s eyes lit up like Christmas lights at the thought of going to the library. "That’d be great, Lee. I really do need to get to the library," he admitted enthusiastically.
Phillip and Lee both looked at Jamie with puzzlement, bewildered by the younger boy’s excitement at spending an evening at the library. Nudging Phillip out of the seat, Lee stood. "I’m going over to talk to them now, then we can leave here and head for the theater. Cool with you two?"
Both boys jumped to their feet in anticipation of the night’s events and answered in unison. "Cool!"
Lee smiled as he rose from his seat. Walking over to the Keens, he couldn’t help but wonder how Amanda coped with raising two teenage boys alone. Everyday he spent with them reminded him of himself as a boy. It was tough growing up on military bases, and while his uncle might argue that he had been an extremely rambunctious teenager, he had still, none-the-less, been a teenager. Yes, it would be good for everyone concerned to have a permanent male fixture in the King household. A smile played across his lips. ‘I wonder what the Colonel would say if he knew I was becoming a role model for a pair of teenage boys?’
Not wanting to really think about what the Colonel might say, he turned his thoughts to whom couple he was about to introduce himself. How many times had Amanda used the last name "Keen" as a cover? Who would have thought that one day he would come face to face with another suburban housewife with the real last name of Keen? Shaking his head at the irony of the situation, he approached the Keen’s table and prepared to put the rest of the evening’s plans into motion.
Lee watched as Phillip entered the movie theater with Mr. & Mrs. Keen and their troop of girls. Phillip was definitely growing up fast, and for some reason, his oldest stepson reminded Lee of himself at that age. He had always been the type to pursue girls. Maybe, even back then, he had hoped to find comfort in the arms of a female. Granted, Phillip wasn’t chasing after girls, and he didn’t enjoy them swooning over him because he needed the attention. Phillip’s attraction was a result of typical youthful growing pains.
Seeing that Phillip was safely inside, he looked at the clock and then turned to his youngest stepson. "I guess we’d better head over to the library, especially if we have to be back here in three hours to pick up Phillip." The Keen’s had told Lee that they wanted to take the kids for ice cream after the movie and had promised to be meet back at the theater by ten-thirty. Lee had hesitated, concerned that Amanda might worry when they didn’t arrive home at ten, but seeing the look of excitement that flashed across his oldest stepson’s face, he couldn’t say no. He just hoped that Amanda wouldn’t grow too concerned and call out the troops.
Jamie just nodded. His mind was already at the library. He really hoped that Caitlin would be there. It was the only place where they had a chance to spend some time together, without the watchful eyes of her father. Caitlin, after much protesting, had finally convinced her father that nothing dangerous could possibly happen in a library. Jamie knew that Mr. Walsh feared losing his daughter, much the way he had lost Caitlin’s mother. From the way Caitlin would talk about her father’s over-protectiveness, Jamie was surprised that he hadn’t found a way to keep her locked at home at all times.
Lee noticed the absent stare on Jamie’s face and could only wonder what the boy was thinking about. ‘He’s probably thinking about whatever project he’s working on.’ Checking his car’s mirrors for oncoming traffic, Lee eased the jeep into drive. Turning out of the theater lot, and headed towards the library.
Ten minutes later, Lee and Jamie entered the library. "Jamie," Lee whispered, "what type of books are you looking for? I mean, I can give you a hand finding something to help you with your project."
Jamie’s eyes were scanning the tables, looking for Caitlin. "Um, well…I need to do a report on Russia for Social Studies." His eye’s lit up when he saw his friend sitting near the encyclopedias. "I guess you could help me find me some books while I look up some stuff in the research area."
"That sounds like a plan, Sport." Nodding in the direction of the research books, he whispered. "Why don’t you find a table, and I’ll meet you over there, after I gather some material for you."
Jamie nodded as he made a bee-line towards Caitlin. Lee couldn’t help but smile in wonder over the boy’s anxious attitude about delving into the world of words and knowledge. He shook his head and continued to smile as he realized how much Jamie reminded him of a younger version of his informant and friend, T.P. Aquainis. ‘All research and very little fun.’ Shrugging his shoulders, Lee headed over to the card catalogue to see what books he could find on Russia.
Lee approached the wood cabinet and looked for the drawer with the letters "Ru." Suddenly, he started to laugh. ‘Here I am, someone who probably knows more about Russia than most authors, and how am I helping out my stepson? By pulling books on the subject. He could learn a lot more if I told him what I know, than anything these books might say.’
A frown quickly replaced his smile. ‘Only problem is, he doesn’t know that I’m a walking encyclopedia on a lot foreign countries. I could always tell him that I spent a year or two there for I.F.F., but somehow, I doubt he’d buy that story, especially since we’re still at "war" with Russia.’ As he thumbed through the cards in the drawer, he again thought about how much his youngest stepson resembled Amanda. It was always hard to pull the wool over her eyes. Grabbing a pen and a piece of paper from the top of the catalogue cabinet, he started writing down numbers and titles. Chuckling at the irony of this whole situation, he thought to himself, ‘If I can’t help Jamie by giving him the information, at least I’ll be able to find the most accurate books for him to use.’
After getting a general idea of where to find the books on Russia, Lee closed the drawer and headed over to the shelves.
Fifteen minutes later, Lee headed towards the research section, proudly carrying ten books on Russia. Peering over the top book, he began scanning the tables for Jamie. It wasn’t too crowded, and he quickly spotted his youngest stepson. A smile crossed his face as he saw Jamie sitting close to a bespectacled young brunette. If the books hadn’t begun to grow heavy, he would have walked a little slower, but his arms were starting to feel the strain of the extra weight.
No sooner had he reached them and placed the books down, than he saw both of their faces turn ashen white. Thinking it was his presence that had startled them, he started to open his mouth, until he realized their eyes were focused on something to his left. Going into agent mode, Lee reached for his gun. In mid-motion, he remembered that he had locked the gun in the glove compartment of Amanda’s jeep.
Cautiously, he turned around to see what had caused such panic on the faces of these two young people. The brooding man with whom Lee came face-to-face, put him on edge; however, the young brunette’s words quickly helped to put him at ease.
"Daddy, I’m sorry. I just bumped into Jamie, and he was only helping me with some history lesson." The brunette quickly rose from her seat and headed towards the man.
"What have I told you about hanging around with strangers, Caitlin?" the broad-shouldered man demanded.
Nervously pushing her glasses up on her nose, an action Lee had observed Jamie perform on a number of occasions, Caitlin protested, her voice full of fear, "Daddy, Jamie’s not a stranger, he’s a classmate. He’s not going to harm…"
Lee had noticed that the father’s gaze was not focused on Jamie, but on him. Lee moved to stand behind Jamie, placing a protective hand on his stepson’s shoulder. He was just about to open his mouth to assure this man that he posed no threat to his daughter, and that he was here as a guardian for Jamie, when her father spoke again.
"I told you the library was not a safe place for you to be by yourself. I knew I should’ve stayed with you. Come on, we’re going home," he ordered, and turned towards the front doors.
Caitlin looked apologetically toward Jamie, before quickly turning and heading toward the front of the library, her father close on her heels. Lee watched as the man turned once and gave him a cold, hard stare that sent shivers down his spine. Relaxing a bit once the girl’s father was out of sight, he removed his hand, and sat down in the chair Caitlin had just vacated.
"It’s not fair," Jamie muttered.
"Jamie," Lee began as concern for the young girl started to grow in the pit of his stomach. "Is Caitlin’s father always like that?"
Jamie nodded. "Yeah. Ever since Caitlin’s mother died, her father’s been extremely protective of her."
Slowly sitting down in the now vacant seat beside Jamie, Lee continued to keep his eyes focused in the direction that the young girl and her father had gone. "How long ago was that?"
Jamie shifted in his seat, so that he now faced Lee. "Last year, around the time that Mom was shot in California," he replied in a quiet voice.
At the mention of the incident in California, Lee’s eyes immediately focused on Jamie, and the near loss of his own wife flashed through his mind. "What happened?" Lee asked weakly.
Jamie slumped down in his chair and began to thumb through the pages of the book in front of him. A moment later, as his eye’s locked with Lee’s intense stare, he answered, "I really don’t think I should talk about it. Caitlin told me that nobody’s supposed to know how her mother died."
Lee eyebrows furrowed together as he listened to Jamie’s whispered response and draped his arm across the back of the boy’s chair. "Jamie, you know you can tell me anything. I won’t say a word to anyone. Believe me, I know how to keep a secret with the best of them." The minute the words exited his mouth, Lee realized how true they really were.
Now, Jamie pushed his glasses back into place with his right hand, and began to pick up one of the unread books with his left. "I really need to get started on my research."
Straightening in his chair, Lee reached out his hand and placed it on Jamie’s arm. "Please, talk to me, Jamie."
Jamie stopped his nervous fidgeting and looked up into Lee’s sincere hazel eyes. The soft tone and pleading words of the male beside him brought back a faint memory of his early childhood. "You know you remind me of someone, Lee."
Leaning his left elbow on the table and resting his chin in his palm, Lee gave Jamie a lopsided smile. "Yeah? Who?"
Jamie shrugged his shoulders and stood. "I need to put these away." With a slightly embarrassed grin, he nodded toward the books, "I looked through them the last time I was here."
Lee looked down at his watch and then up at Jamie. "We still have plenty of time before we have to be back at the theater to pick up Phillip. Want to get some ice cream?"
Jamie couldn’t resist one of Lee’s famous ice cream runs. It had become a habit for the four of them to go out on Sunday afternoon and get "monster" banana splits. Shrugging his shoulders, he mumbled, "Sure, I guess." His heart wasn’t in the mood to stay at the library now that Caitlin wasn’t around.
Smiling, Lee stood and picked up the massive mound of books he had dropped on the table earlier. Cradling them in his arm, he turned to head for the check out counter, but stopped when he noticed something on the table. "Jamie, is that your friend’s?"
Jamie pulled his attention away from his task to look at the item Lee had pointed out. "Oh my gosh, Lee. She needs her notebook for class tomorrow."
Nodding his agreement, Lee watched as Jamie picked up the five-subject notebook, before continuing his trek to the front. "We’ll drop it off…after we get our ice cream. Okay, Sport?"
Jamie’s eyes widened at Lee’s suggestion, but he remained silent as he hesitantly followed Lee toward the counter.
Lee brought his fingers to his temples and massaged slightly, willing the throbbing in his head, from the ice cream induced headache, to stop.
Jamie smiled mischievously at his feeble attempt. "Mom told you not to eat that stuff so fast."
Lee playfully glared at Jamie, before wrapping his hands around the empty bowl and pitching it into a trash bin near the picnic table. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Lee relaxed upon hearing the soft giggle that came from Jamie’s direction, and he decided that now was as good a time as any to find out who the boy had been talking about earlier. "So, Jamie, who do I remind you of?"
Hearing the question, Jamie started to squirm in his seat. He continued to shovel his remaining sweets into his mouth. Noticing the steady gaze Lee had fixed upon him, Jamie realized that Lee wasn’t going to give up on the subject. Jamie shrugged his shoulders and looked across the table, meeting Lee’s eyes. "Papa West," he whispered self-consciously.
Lee was at a loss for words at the compliment his youngest stepson had bestowed upon him.
Jamie returned his attention to his ice cream, but continued to explain. "When you said that I could tell you anything, it reminded me of him. I used to tell him all kinds of wild tales, and most of them were true. Sometimes, I’d even make up stories, just to spend time with him, but he always knew which ones were real, and which ones weren’t. He’d always listen, no matter what, and never tell Mom or Dad any of it. He didn’t think I was silly or stupid."
Lee reached out and placed his hand on the boy’s arm. "I’d never think anything like that about you, either, Jamie."
As Lee smiled sincerely, his dimples deepening, images of his grandfather’s face flashed through Jamie’s mind, once again. "He was the only one…well only male that ever did that type of thing for me. Dad just didn’t get it. He would always run to Mom and tell her what I’d said…or what I wanted. He never really listened to what I was trying to tell him."
Lee gave Jamie’s arm a quick squeeze, then, he pulled back his hand and rested his elbows on the table. "I can understand how you feel, Jamie."
Tilting his head to the side, Jamie returned the smile. "You do?" When he saw the sincerity in Lee’s eyes as he nodded, Jamie quickly finished his thought before Lee could get a word out. "You know what, I really believe that you do understand."
The intimacy of their conversation caused Lee to shift in his seat in the same manner that Jamie had done earlier. For the second time that evening, Lee found himself in unfamiliar territory. He had grown close to the boys, but he definitely wasn’t comfortable showing deep affection towards them. He remembered how long it had taken him to be able to open up to Amanda, and now, suddenly, he was thrown into a situation where he had to express his feelings to her children…their children. "I’ll always listen."
Jamie watched the melted ice cream slide off the end of his spoon. He dipped it back into the bowl, then held it up, and watched it drip down again. "I really like Caitlin, Lee. And it’s not in the same way Phillip hangs around girls. You know what I mean?"
Lee nodded with complete understanding. Jamie glanced up quickly, and then returned to playing with the soupy dessert. "It’s her dad that keeps us from spending anytime together. He blames himself for her mom’s death."
Lee sat quietly, encouraging Jamie to continue. "You see, Caitlin’s dad is a cop. Not just any kind of cop…he’s a federal agent."
If Lee had not been a trained agent himself, his face would have revealed his shock at hearing Jamie’s statement. Instead, his face remained an expressionless mask as he nodded his understanding.
Jamie pushed his ice cream to the side and locked eyes with Lee. "He left them. That is, he left Caitlin and her mother when she was five, hoping to protect them from any bad people that might have come along and tried to hurt them. You know, just to get to him. Then, last year, her mom was killed at the gas station where she worked. Caitlin says everyone keeps telling her dad that it was just a robbery, but her father isn’t so sure. He blames himself for her death. She told me that she overheard him talking to her uncle. Over and over, her father’s said that her mom would still be alive today, if only he’d stuck around." Jamie crinkled his nose under his glasses and squinted at the ceiling.
As he listened to Jamie’s story, Lee felt the world closing in around him. The oxygen to his brain depleting more and more with every breath he took.
"Lee, are you all right?" Jamie had stopped watching his ice cream and had focused on his mother’s boyfriend. He figured Lee had been quiet, just listening to him talk, but now, as he took in the older man’s ashen gray face, he wasn’t so sure.
Lee demanded his lips to move, but found that they, like the rest of his body, refused.
"Lee…?"
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Lee forced himself to reestablish eye contact with the teenager. "Yeah, I’m fine. Go on."
Jamie stood and went to sit beside Lee. "Are you sure you’re okay? You looked like you were about to pass out or something."
Lee shook his head and put a reassuring hand on the boy’s arm. "I’m sure. Please, I think I’d like to hear the rest of this story."
Jamie nodded and continued, this time keeping his eyes on Lee. "Well, then Caitlin said he thinks he’s a chicken because he ran away. He’s promised to make it right by never letting her out of his sight, unless he has to. You know, for school. He seems to think that he’s making it up to her, but he’s really making her life miserable."
Wrapping an arm around Jamie’s shoulder, Lee felt tears coming to his eyes. Caitlin’s story was so similar to his own recent life, it was frightening. He had fought for so long to keep Amanda and her family at arm’s length, for their safety. He had told himself that it was the only way to protect them from whatever evil this line of work could bring them, only to be told that another had done a similar thing. Sitting here with his stepson, he could see that this other person had chosen the wrong path and had lost the precious time he could have shared with his family. The story of Caitlin and her father’s loss confirmed that he and Amanda were doing the right thing by bringing their marriage out in the open.
Suddenly, Lee felt overwhelmed and knew he couldn’t wait any longer for the whole truth to come out. "Jamie, I think I need to tell you something."
Jamie pulled back at the sound of Lee’ s voice cracking. "What?"
Removing his arm from around his stepson’s shoulder, Lee raked his left hand through his hair. Standing, he motioned for Jamie to follow him to the car.
Confused and frightened about what Lee might say, Jamie shook his head and followed.
Once they were both securely in the car, Lee started the engine and drove towards the city, rather than the movie theater.
Jamie looked at the clock on the dash, and then out the window, before shooting a confused, questioning glance in Lee’s direction.
Lee caught the look from the corner of his eye. "We need to talk, Jamie and that was not the place to do it. We have another hour before we need to pick up Phillip, and I want to take you somewhere. We’re going to a place that has become a favorite for your mom and me."
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.