If anyone I ever knew told me that I would fall in love with a suburban mother of two, I would have laughed off their funny joke and ordered another drink. Three years ago, I was a different man, with different values, and very different views on what life had to offer. Happiness was freedom, and freedom was being unattached, or what some might call a loner. I was happy, free, and unattached, however an empty void was lurking somewhere deep inside my body, fighting to break through the barriers I had built. It was hidden so deep, I was unaware it even existed until one woman changed my life forever.
Amanda King entered my life early one morning nearly three years ago. A chance meeting, some might call fate, but the moment I saw her I knew my life would never be the same. Something told me she was the one I could trust. Her eyes were enigmatic, and her face bestowed the look of warmth and compassion.
Our friendship went through trials and tribulations throughout the first year of our working relationship. I fought her tooth and nail, trying desperately to cling to the bachelorhood that I thought freedom was attached too. As we were paired for cases, I had to constantly remind myself that she was not a trained agent, but a housewife turned spy, and it was of my own doing. I certainly wasn’t about to admit to myself that I needed her in my life. She was a divorced mother from Arlington with two small boys. She was beautiful, but I constantly reminded myself of the ramifications if I’d ever thought of acting on my feelings. This woman could read me like a book. Even with my countless, nameless dates, Amanda King knew I wasn’t satisfied in life. She stuck by my side through it all, and I felt obligated to protect her from any harm.
The second year of our relationship brought us even closer. My need to protect her changed in definition; no longer an obligation but a commitment I longed for. As we worked together on several cases that involved posing as man and wife, I began to notice the anticipation and excitement that coursed through my body whenever I was with her. I couldn’t help but notice that her natural beauty radiated every room she entered. I knew I was in love with her when we went on a cruise. My fate was sealed when I kissed her at our “cover wedding.” I’d never experienced the feelings that made my entire body ache for a woman. Her trusting eyes, never once questioned any of my motives. Amanda King trusted me with her life, and I couldn’t display the emotions I truly felt for her. I wasn’t ready to admit to myself that I truly needed her to complete my life.
By the very beginning of our third year, things had changed. I couldn’t stay away from this woman, nor could I stop touching her. The hand holding, my arm around her waist, and shielding her body with mine, were only a few of the things I did to let her know I cared. I tried to cover the jealousy I experienced whenever any man paid her attention, but I failed miserably. We were both dancing around the relationship issue, neither one of us ready to take the next step.
One day, Amanda was assigned a light surveillance case. She was ordered to carefully survey Alan Chamberlain’s activities and contacts while he was in town for a few days. I watched her carefully open the envelope and study the picture of the subject she was to watch. Something about the way she looked at Alan’s picture alarmed me. She seemed curious and intrigued, which left me to contemplate my options.
As the case progressed, I sensed that what Amanda had been pursuing was more than just another case. Jealousy got the best of me and I had to find out the truth. After a casual inquiry, she informed me that he was the artistic, dull type. If she was trying to make me jealous, she did a darn good job of accomplishing that task.
When the case took a turn for the worse, I felt compelled to warn her of impending danger even though it was the middle of the night. I needed to see her face to face, to smell her and most of all I needed to touch her. She invited me into her bedroom, no questions asked. As I clumsily came in through the window, she led me toward her bed. I couldn’t help but notice her attire. A long white nightgown, no makeup, and tousled hair made her look even more beautiful than I’d ever remembered in our entire three-year relationship. I, being the gentleman she created, respected her modesty, ignoring her beauty until she slipped under the safe haven of her comforter.
I heard no words when she spoke because her perfectly shaped mouth mesmerized me. She demonstrated a graceful and elegant style, without even trying. I sensed her nervousness, noting the number of times she ran her fingers through her hair. ‘Did she have any idea what she was doing to me, without even trying?’ I asked myself. I then saw something I never thought I would see from Amanda King. She was quite vague about her dinner date with Alan Chamberlain, almost as if she were trying to hide something from me. I had to let her know how I felt. I wasn’t about to give her up to anybody. She was mine, and I was hers. Forever.
I reached out to shake her hand. “Deal?” I asked, trying desperately to touch her soft gentle hands. I needed reassurance that she was still mine. She reached out, “deal,” with a lovely smile and placed her tiny hand in mine. We shook hands, and I, for one, was reluctant to let go. As our eyes fixated on one another, her free hand covered the exposed area her nightgown failed to cover. I knew I should say something to end the silence, but I couldn’t move. Her eyes were drawing me closer, and I couldn’t help but gently massage the fingers of her hand that I held in mine. They were so soft and delicate to the touch.
I had to speak, but didn’t know where to begin. I loved this woman with all my heart, and had no clue how to tell her. When I opened my mouth to speak nothing came out. Amanda’s hand instinctively left her chest and clutched my other hand. Her warm smile told me everything would be fine. “What’s wrong Lee?” She asked with genuine concern.
I silently thanked her for breaking the ice. “God, you look….different,” I chickened out. I put my head down, silently cursing at myself for my lack of courage. When I looked back up at Amanda, her facial expression had changed to embarrassment. Before I could rectify the situation, she spoke.
“I’m sorry about that Lee. I didn’t expect you at this hour. I’m sure my hair is a mess, and my…” I had to cut her off before she continued.
“You’re beautiful,” I blurted out, staring deeply into her eyes. Finally, Amanda King was speechless. In the three years that I have known her, I’ve never been able to render her speechless. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence she once again threw me a life preserver, offering me the easy route out of the situation.
“Thank you Lee, but you really didn’t have to say that. I knew what you were getting at,” she smiled shyly.
“You have no idea what I was getting at, Amanda.” I finally found my voice and the words began to spill out from my lips. I released her hand only to caress her cheek. I was elated to meet no resistance, and continued to express the thoughts and emotions I had suppressed for too long. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, and seeing you here like this, only makes me appreciate your beauty even more.” I braced myself for her reaction.
Her eyes widened in what looked like disbelief. “Lee, I…. I don’t know what to say,” she stammered, searching my eyes for the answer.
I smiled at her, trying my best to convey the love I harbored for her. “You don’t have to say a word Amanda. I just want you to know how very special you are to me, and how much I…. I…I really love being with you.” ‘Why do I keep doing that?’ I yelled at myself.
I watched her trembling hand reach out to caress my face. When she finally made contact with my skin, I gasped audibly. Her widening smile told me she cared as well, but I still wondered just how much that was after her evening with Alan. “You’re very special to me too Lee, and I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it,” she whispered softly.
I let out a breath I was unaware I was holding, and leaned to taste her lips. As I neared, I heard a sharp intake of breath, and gently touched my lips to hers. I pulled back slowly to gauge her reaction, which was difficult to read. Her eyes were warm pools of brown, and her lips curved at the corners, but I sensed her hesitation. ‘Did I cross the line? Did she just consider me a friend? Did my stupid pride stand in the way of having a chance with her?’ These were all questions that ran through my mind, as I awaited a response from her. “That was nice,” she breathed against my lips. That was all the invitation I needed to capture her lips fully. When our lips met the second time, I tried to convey every bit of love, passion, and desire I felt for her. My hands instinctively wrapped around her waist, as I pulled her body closer to mine. A strangled gasp escaped my lips when I felt her fingers in my hair.
As I savored the sweet flavor of her mouth, she parted her lips, inviting me to enter. I could taste the faint remnants of mint toothpaste as my tongue gently probed her warm moist mouth. The moment I found her tongue, I stroked it softly with my own, occasionally sucking it. I was intoxicated in her presence, and I didn’t ever want it to end. I began breathing heavily through my nose, prolonging the sweet ecstasy of our kiss.
My self-control continued to deteriorate when I felt Amanda’s nails clutch onto my neck, pulling me even closer. After a long moment, she broke the kiss, gasping for much needed air. “Lee,” she breathed hoarsely, fighting to speak. I released her immediately, fearing I’d crossed the line.
“I’m sorry…. I just, maybe I should go,” I stumbled, sounding like a young teenager in love. Fear and astonishment were quite evident on my face, as I’d feared she thought I was taking advantage of our friendship.
“Shhhh, don’t apologize Lee, just be quiet. My mother is just down the hall. I wanted you to me kiss me so badly,” she whispered, breathing against my neck. Every hair stood on end, as I struggled to maintain control of my raging hormones. I closed my eyes very tight, taking deep full breathes when I felt warm soft kisses against my neck.
“Oh god Amanda,” I breathed, clenching my hands into fists against her back. “I love you!” There, I finally said it. It came out hoarse, as I fought the urge to push her down upon the bed. ‘I hope she didn’t think I just said that to get her in bed. What a jerk,’ I chastised myself, moving away from Amanda.
“Lee,” she pleaded, pulling me back against her body. She smiled softly, inviting me into her arms. She cradled me gently, whispering in my ear. “I love you too Lee. I’ve loved you for a very long time. Do you have you any idea how happy I am?”
I sat up, and placed both hands on either side of her face. I caressed her cheeks with the backside of my fingertips, careful not to overstep any boundaries. Her expressive eyes were telling me something, but I was reluctant to listen. ‘Does she want me now?’ I asked myself, shaking the thought as quickly as it entered my mind.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her chest rising and falling, as she took long deep breathes. My own breath quickened with anticipation of her next move. We sat in limbo just staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity. “Lee…”she beckoned, hesitating to continue.
“What is it?” I whispered ever so softy, as I continued to caress her cheeks.
“Stay with me tonight,” she breathed, as I traced her lips with my finger. My finger stilled, as my brain desperately fought to understand what she meant. Inarticulate sounds escaped my lips in an effort to respond. Finally I found my voice.
“Amanda, I told you I love you because it’s the truth. That wasn’t some botched attempt to get you into bed. I respect you and honor you, and wouldn’t ever try to jeopardize what we already have to…” My words trailed off as her mouth descended upon my own.
“Lee…”she mouthed between kisses, “I love you with all my heart…”she continued as her kisses trailed down my neck. “I know how much I mean to you, and I trust you completely, but I need you tonight. I need you to show me how much you love me.”
My breathing was severely labored, as I pulled Amanda to her feet. I kissed her lips, insisting immediate entry. We explored each other’s mouth, as my hands roamed her back freely. Even through her nightgown, I could feel the softness of her body, as I continued to explore her lower back. As I continued my assault on her lips, I felt her hands reach up and loosen my tie. We pulled apart briefly and within moments I was clad in just my boxers. I raised her arms above her head and carefully removed the gown from her body. I stood before her, drinking in every inch of her beautiful body. Her hair accentuated her face, falling just around her shoulder blades. Her delicate arms were toned perfectly, and her chest was covered with light freckles. The swell of her milky white breasts was in perfect proportion to her body, and I couldn’t wait to taste them. My eyes traveled lower to her flat abdomen, and continued down her long shapely legs, that didn’t seem to end.
I sat her on the edge of the bed and caressed her entire body. Just the feel of her silky skin was making my entire body tremble with anticipation. I closed my eyes, and tried to imagine cold, desolate places in an attempt to maintain a sliver of control. I hooked my finger in the seam of her lacy panties, and slid them down her legs. I looked to her for reassurance, and she smiled softy, blinking very slowly as she pulled me up for a kiss. I couldn’t control the guttural moan that echoed in the room as she brushed her hand over my arousal. She swiftly removed the last remaining garment between us and I took her in my arms and laid her down in the middle of the bed.
I kissed her softly on the lips, savoring the sweet softness of them. I sucked on her bottom lip, gently teasing it with my teeth. She opened her mouth to me, lashing out her tongue, to taste my offering. Her sighs of pleasure encouraged me to proceed with my exploration of her body. I moved over on my side, resting on my elbow. She raised her arms over her head, giving me unlimited access to her body and soul. I touched her neck and slowly traveled down to her breasts. I cupped one breast, while teasing the nipple with my thumb. I leaned over to take its twin in my mouth. I swirled my tongue around the hardening nipple, sucking and nibbling it to attention. My mouth wandered to the valley between her breasts in search of the other one. Once again, I lavished my attention on her firm breast, leaving it glistening with moisture. My mouth followed the path of my hand as I slowly kissed my way down her stomach. She arched her back beneath me, and I grabbed her hips, keeping her in place.
She moaned, “L.e.e.,” as I ran my hand over the juncture between her legs. I looked up to find her intently watching me worship her body. This fueled my fire even more, and I continued stroking her. I parted her folds, and ran my finger over her pleasure spot, eliciting sighs of pleasure from her lips. First one finger, then two delved into the inner depths of her warm, wet, core. Her body was quaking beneath me, and the overwhelming urge and desire to join as one consumed my body. I took a deep breath, trying to fight the urge to take her just then. My mouth descended upon her pleasure spot, as my fingers continued to pump rhythmically within. As her body began to convulse around my fingers, I quickly removed them.
I moved back up the length of her body, hesitating to kiss her. She pulled me against her body, tugging at my lips with her teeth. I growled softly, trying to stifle the sound as best I could. Her hands wandered over my body, touching and caressing every patch of skin. My body was tingling from every touch, aching to fill her completely, as my arousal throbbed with anticipation. She worked her way down my neck, leaving a wet trail of soft kisses. Her intent was quite clear as she kissed her way across my chest, stopping to pay homage to my nipples. She suckled tenderly, causing a tremor in my lower extremities. She continued her journey south, nipping at my abdomen, as her hand reached down to stroke my pulsating arousal. I called out, “Amanda,” but it came out in a strangled breath. Before I could continue, I felt her hot mouth engulf the shaft of my organ. I struggled, very close to the edge, gripping her shoulders to join me at the head of the bed. Luckily, she stopped in time and slid her body up the length of my own. In one fluid motion I flipped her onto her back, and kissed her lovingly.
I nudged my knee between her legs, encouraging her to open for me. She easily opened, gazing into my eyes with all the love and desire reflecting back at me. I shivered, not in anticipation, but because I was completely overwhelmed with emotions. Beneath me, lay the woman that I loved and planned to share the rest of my life with, and I couldn’t convey the feelings with words. Once positioned, I interlocked our fingers and pushed against her opening. Never breaking our eye contact, we both gasped, finally experiencing the ultimate feeling of being joined as one. I plunged into her fully, relishing the warmth and protection of her body. I couldn’t move. She was so tight and wet, I was afraid I’d lose control the moment I entered. I felt her wrap her legs around me, encouraging me to pick up the pace. I regained a little control, and began moving in and out very slowly. Every time I plunged into her, I felt her muscles tightening around my body. Inevitably, she forced me to pick up the pace, bucking her hips against my thrusts. She pulled me close, demanding possession of my mouth. I happily obliged, playing seductively with her tongue. I felt her body trembling beneath mine, and for one brief moment I stopped, making sure I wasn’t hurting her.
“Oh god Lee…”she breathed, “Please, take me…”she cried out, begging me to finish. I felt her body convulse as I continued, and I knew she had reached the peak of ecstasy. I clamped my mouth down upon hers, trying desperately to muffle our moans, as I emptied myself into her. Over and over I thrust, until she extracted every bit of love I had to give.
We clung to each other, gasping for air. I showered her with kisses, as I whispered over and over between each one, “I love you.” Her legs intertwined with my own, and her arms held me tight against her body. I rested on one elbow, as I brushed a few damp locks of hair out of her face. I couldn’t touch or taste her enough to suit my needs. Her face was radiant as the moonlight streamed through the window illuminating the dark room.
In the afterglow of our lovemaking, she finally spoke. “Lee, that was so wonderful,” she spoke softly. “I never knew it could…. be like that.” I noted her hesitation, wondering if it had anything to do with my past.
I felt it was time to comfort her, to let her know how I felt. “Amanda, I’ve never made love to a woman. You are the first, and I can’t begin to express the emotions that are coursing throughout my entire body. I don’t ever want to spend another night without you Amanda. What we just shared was more than I can put into words. I felt like I shared my mind, body and soul with you, and I still want us to be closer if that makes any sense at all,” I rambled on and on, waiting for her to rescue me.
“Oh Lee, I love you so much, and I know in my heart this isn’t a “little” affair,” she whispered softly.
I smiled at her proclamation, well aware of the commitment that I needed from this woman. I wanted her now and always. “This is definitely a “lifetime” affair Amanda,” I assured her. I rolled to my side, and pulled her against my body. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay the night, but I had to hold her as long as I could. She snuggled against my body, fitting perfectly against me. I finally understood the meaning of the word freedom, and now I don’t ever want to let her go.
The End
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: These characters don’t belong to me. They belong to WB and Shoot The Moon Productions.
Timeline: Early Third Season. Strictly A.U.
Timeline: Early Third Season. Strictly A.U.